Dear readers:

Welcome to the Mayonnaise Clinic! You have questions, I have mayonnaise.

Will asks:

Thanks for providing your take on the NY Mag etiquette guide. I’d also be interested in your thoughts on the tipping guidelines they included. Some, like tipping someone who delivers food to your apartment door at least $5, seem sensible. On the other hand, tipping the person who grabs and bags a pastry I’ve purchased feels hilariously excessive. What’s your take on these and/or other gray areas, like carry out meals?

Yeah, I thought at least some of the tipping guidance (provided by NYMag’s food publication, Grub Street) was ridiculous, in particular the assertion that it is “acceptable, though miserly” not to tip when buying a bottle of water.

There’s been a shift in food media over the last decade: the staffers at the food sites tend to see themselves as advocates for restaurant workers, and so you should take an article like this accordingly — they are telling you how the people you might be tipping would like you to think about tipping. This is kind of like asking an insurance agent how much insurance you need: they have subject-matter expertise, but also bias, and you need to analyze their answers accordingly.

Not everything in Grub Street’s “new rules” is wrong.